Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Call Santa 2012

Author: Steve Martin

It’s that time of year again. Santa is ready to hear from kids all over the world. Give him a call and leave him a voicemail. If you let him know your e-mail address, he’ll even send you the voicemail so you can listen to it for years to come. Tell your friends and family so they can make sure Santa knows what their kids want for Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

Tyler definitely got the “Luck of the Irish” today. He got his favorite kind of green for St. Patrick’s day, a one hundred dollar bill. One year ago today he started the candy deal with his dad that he would go without any candy for a whole year. While it was a tough thing for a 6/7 year old to do, he did it!

I am so proud of you Tyler for your determination even in the face of temptation at holidays, birthday parties, and family gatherings. You didn’t falter once. You’re lucky to have your older sister Abby as inspiration (Ben and Abby Sittin in a Tree). I’m proud of you for deciding to continue it for another year. I’m sure it makes St. Patrick’s day a lot more fun and a lot more memorable. Good luck for another year. I love you!

Ben and Abby Sittin in a Tree…

Author: Steve Martin

Abby gets $100Abby is in love. She found a guy that she fell head over heels for. His name is Benjamin and she is willing to make major sacrifices for him. One year ago today Abby made a deal with her dad that she would go without eating any candy for an entire year for one Benjamin Franklin, one hundred buckaroos. This morning she got her first one hundred dollar bill and her eyes about popped out of her head she was so excited.

I am so proud of her for her determination and being able to accomplish something that most kids would never even dare to attempt. She received major inspiration from her aunt kaka who has been doing the “candy deal” since she was a little kid. While Abby was going to take a day to eat some candy before she started her next candy free year, she changed her mind and decided to simply continue on without candy for another year.

Her little brother Tyler is also doing the candy deal but he took an extra two months before committing to it. So, as long as he continues with the deal, he’ll get his $100 on March 17th. Good luck Tyler and congratulations Abby, I love you both and am so proud of you!!!

I’m Watching You…

Author: Steve Martin

Last night I gave my wife the scare of her life. I did it on a whim but I could not have planned how perfectly it turned out. She had planned a GNO (girls night out) with the other moms that are part of our baby-sitting coop. There were 5 women in all. Each of these women have 2 to 5 kids and have been married for many years. Last night they became like a group of scared teenagers at a slumber party.

So, like I said, they were all out for a GNO. They had gone out to dinner and had headed back to the home of one of the women in the group. I did not know where they were or what they were doing. At home, I had put the kids to bed and was playing around with our new Kindle Fire that we got for Christmas. I was downloading and checking out new apps and just goofing around. I found the TextPlus app and downloaded it. It is a pretty basic app that lets you text people’s cell phones. It provides you with a free random phone number and you can start texting immediately. The phone number I got was a Kentucky number. For fun, I thought I would text Jenny and see if I could scare her. Little did I know how perfect this trick was going to be.

Below are the texts I sent from my new Kentucky phone number from the Kindle Fire. I will interject what happened on their end throughout the text messages:

  • I’m watching you…

Unknown to me, Jenny happened to be in the basement of this friend’s house and was sitting next to a large window that did not have any blinds. Her initial thought was that someone got the wrong number when sending this text to her but she could’t help looking out the window to see if she could see someone looking in from the outside. Then the next text arrives:

  • You can’t see me.

She starts getting a bit freaked out and tells the rest of the women about these 2 strange texts. They told her it must be Steve but she is very doubtful because of the strange phone number the texts came from. She decides to call me on my cell phone. I of course play dumb and convince her that it isn’t me and that it sounds really weird. She freaks out a bit more. Then the following texts:

  • Do you know who this is?
  • Why won’t you respond?
  • Who did you call?

After getting this last text, all the women really freaked out and ran out of the room into another room of the house that doesn’t have an open window. They have the husband at the home go out and look around outside to see if he can see someone in their yard or a neighboring yard. One of the women calls her husband to see if it might be him. He has no idea what they are talking about. Then:

  • Aren’t you curious to know who I am?
  • You have a nice van.

this last one put them all over the edge. Whoever this stalker is must know where they are and what vehicle she is driving. Jenny starts imagining someone hiding out in her van waiting for her or following her home when she leaves. I am unaware at the time but the owner of the home decides to call the cops. I then text:

  • Don’t freak out.

I then get the one and only reply from Jenny:

  • Just called the cops. Not freaking out.

I don’t know about you but I think that reply completely contradicts itself. If she wasn’t freaked out, why did they call the cops. I knew the joke had to come to an end. I called Jenny and told her it was me. She almost sounded hysterical on the phone and all of the women were mad at me. The cops had arrived and the owner told them that it was Jenny’s husband playing a joke on her. They laughed and left. Jenny told me the details of where she was with each text and how scared she had been. I totally could not have planned it any better than it worked out. After they knew it was me, everyone started to calm down. I was called a lot of names by the women that I won’t repeat here. I only wish I really could have been watching them as they freaked out. I’m glad I could add some entertainment to their GNO.

Call Santa 2011

Author: Steve Martin

It’s that time of year again. We have an exclusive direct line to Santa’s workshop. Of course Santa is extremely busy this time of year and very rarely is able to answer his phone but at least you can leave him a message. Tell him your name and how old you are and of course what you want for Christmas this year. If you would like a copy of your recording, e-mail santa to let him know when you left your message, your child’s name and age and he’ll do his best to e-mail you a copy of the message (fun to listen to years later). If you’d rather just e-mail him, you can do that too and he’ll be sure to reply.

Santa’s phone number – (424) 2SANTA3

Santa’s E-mail – santa@claus.fami.ly

You can visit his website directly at www.claus.fami.ly

Merry Christmas!

The Runners Club

Author: Steve Martin

It’s been a very long time since I have been a part of a club. I’m not talking about the official clubs like running cross country in high school, but the unofficial clubs that you become a part of simply by participation. The last time I felt part of one of these unofficial clubs was when I had my Honda Helix scooter. That thing was so fun to drive. I used to slap on my helmet and go for a ride with no particular destination just because it was fun to drive and feel the wind whipping around my body. Whether you ride a big Harly or a scooter, you are automatically in the two wheeled club. All the other motorcycle and scooter riders wave to you as you cruise on by because we are all a part of the unofficial two wheel motor club. We are friends even though we have never met before. I liked the friendly wave of the big Harly riders to me on my puny little scooter. It doesn’t matter what kind of two wheeled motorized vehicle you ride, you are automatically part of the club.

I have recently experienced this feeling again. I have taken to running a few times a week. I don’t run real far, usually about 4 miles each time I run and I’m not real fast, but it feels good to get out and try to push myself. Running is another unofficial club you automatically become a part of simply by participating. My neighborhood has a lot of active runners. We are all part of the runners club. We wave to each other without knowing each other or having met before. When you run, you automatically appreciate what you and everyone else is doing. It is not always easy to run, especially when you start putting on years like me. I was a much better runner in high school. Even so, I am enjoying it and grateful for all the other runners out there in our “club” silently encouraging my efforts and I theirs. Keep up the good work and thanks for the friendly waves. It’s nice to be in the club.

Now, to get another scooter…

One E-mail Changed My Life Forever

Author: Steve Martin

It’s funny how one tiny little act can alter the course of your life forever. Eleven years ago today I sent a short e-mail to a girl I had once dated and lost touch with simply because I had an impression to do so. I didn’t even have her e-mail address but looked it up doing a search online. That one e-mail found me my best friend once again. We got married 6 months later and that has been the best decision I ever made. I love you “Honey”.

I’ve been married for 9 LONG years (just kidding honey) and have lived in 3 different homes with a short stay of about 6 months at my in-laws while one of our homes was being built. Since our first home, a condo, we decided to leave our outdoor lights on all night. The idea behind it was to not let our home be dark around it. Darkness gives criminals lots of great hiding spots. So, any place where we have an outside door, we have a light. In our 9 years of marriage we have never had our home or our vehicle broken into. There is one exception to this and it is when we lived at my in-laws for those 6 months waiting for our house to finish being built. My in-laws do not leave their outside lights on through the night so it is extremely dark around their house at night. We had parked our car in their driveway and when we woke up in the morning, we found that our stereo had been stolen and the trunk had been emptied. The funny thing about it is that my mother-in-law was in charge of the neighborhood watch program at the time. You can never know for sure, but I am guessing that our car wouldn’t have been touched if their house had been well lit on the outside.

So, my advice to you is to leave you outdoor lights on throughout the night. If you are concerned about a higher electrical bill, maybe put a motion sensor on your lights so they only turn on when someone walks nearby. But, if the lights are already on, the burgler probably won’t even check your house and will head to a house with dark hiding spots. Also, with the newer CFL light bulbs, you can put in a 100 watt equivalent light while only actually using 23 watts of power. Or use a 60 watt which draws only 13 watts. As long as you keep things lit up. Below are a couple of pictures I took this evening. One with no light on and the other with a light on. Which one appears more inviting to a burgler? You decide.

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The Cutest Kids EVER!!!

Author: Steve Martin

kids-01-17-09We made our annual trip to Kiddy Kandids last weekend. We used to get pictures every year for every kid on or near their birthday, but I think we are going to go once a year and get all of their pictures done in one sitting. Thier birthdays are close enough together that it works out just right. Anyway, I wanted to share the pictures of the cutest kids on the planet. 
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Call Santa

Author: Steve Martin

It’s that time of year again. Santa Claus is getting presents ready for all the good girls and boys. He sure has a lot to do. Can you imagine trying to make toys for every single child in the entire world? And, he has to deliver them all in a single night. He’s so busy that he has helpers visit all of the malls and shopping centers to allow children to tell him what they want for Christmas. The helpers must report to him daily or something and they must have an amazing memory because I never see them write anything down.

Anyway, our children are deathly afraid of Santa (and his helpers). Oh, they love him and love the fact that he brings them presents every year on Christmas, but to sit on his lap would scare them to death. They are more than happy to watch other children sit on his lap in the malls but no, they do not want to get in line to sit on his lap themselves.

So, we choose to call Santa and leave him a message. I actually have a direct line to him (801) 738-0668. This number goes directly to his voicemail. When a child calls him, they simply tell him their name and age and what they want for Christmas. Santa is then notified via e-mail and can listen to the message via an attached audio file. It saves Santa a lot of precious time. Sometimes parents want to hear the message that Santa receives. Santa is happy to forward the message to their e-mail address. They simply need to let him know via e-mail the approximate time (with timezone) their child left a message and their child’s name and age. He can then find the message and forward it to them. Santa’s e-mail address is santa@claus.fami.ly.

Hopefully your kids are not as afraid of Jolly Old St. Nick as my kids, but if they are, now you have a way for them to tell Santa what they want for Christmas. Have a very Merry Christmas!!!